Sunday, September 12, 2010

My Car Wars Fantasy

Alright, Alright...

I know it sounds crazy but it was bound to happen sooner or later, my Star Wars and Dukes of Hazzard obsessions have finally collided. I don't know how it happened. Maybe Celebration V took place too close to the CMT the Dukes Ride Again marathon but my brain has combined the two franchises. The more I think about it I suspect that Gy Waldron, the creator of the Dukes of Hazzard television show, was a closet Star Wars fan. Both take place far, far away and let's be honest, most people think the South is in another galaxy. The similarities don't stop there.

For a peek into my psyche take a look below:
  1. I have always thought of the fair-haired farmboy, Bo Duke, as a combination of Luke Skywalker and Lando Calrissian.
  2. Uncle Jesse is definately a synthesis of Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda.
  3. Luke Duke is Han Solo, since Luke Skywalker's best buddy after R2-D2 is Han Solo and for Bo that was Luke.
  4. Chewbacca, Han's faithful buddy and master mechanic for the Millenium Falcon would of course be played by Cooter Davenport, master mechanic for the General Lee.
  5. The Millenium Falcon, the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy is played by none other than the General Lee, the fastest hunk of junk in Hazzard also known to fly through the air at near light speed.
  6. Princess Leia in her skimpy, slave girl suit is given a run for her money by Daisy Duke and her world-famous shorts.
  7. Princess Leia has her ship and Daisy has Dixie.
  8. The Rebel alliance has a symbol and the Dukes have the Rebel Flag.
  9. Luke has an alternate weapon, a lightsaber and the Dukes don't use guns they prefer their alternate the Bow and Arrow.
  10. The Jedi have their temple and the Duke's have their farm.

 Now on the Dark side things get a little more convoluted.
  1. I can't quite decide if Boss Hogg is the Emperor, Jabba the Hut or some amalgam of the two.
  2. That makes Rosco P. Coltrane a goofy version of Darth Vader and/or Bobba Fett and not quite as effective.
  3. Rosco could also be a Storm Trooper.
  4. The Clone Troopers were actual good guys that were genetically altered to do what they are ordered and that's a pretty good description of Enos Strate.
  5. The Droids, which are not very smart, have an earthly cousin in Cletus Hogg. Boss Hogg's not so smart cousin.

  6. Hughie Hogg, the evil nephew of Boss Hogg, could be either Count Dooku or General Grievous.

  7. The Emperor has the DeathStar and Boss Hogg has the Boar's Nest. 

Now that you've seen a peak into my brain, let me know what you think and stay tuned for the movie to be posted here, soon!

No comments: